Finding Values

What Do I Mean?

In my previous post, I briefly touched on the need to define one’s values (and yes, to live a fully meaningful life, values identification is necessary). I ‘d like to expand on this a bit. Frankly, I think we (the general “we”) don’t pay enough attention to the values that actually resonate with us, selecting, instead, those we think we “should” value. So, when working to clarify what is most important to you, be honest with yourself. If you aren’t, then the values you proclaim to be central to you are mere falsehoods. If independence is more important to you than family, that’s fine. If challenge is more important to you than altruism, then select that. Remember, this list will help you define what is truly most important to you. And with that, you can begin to live a more meaningful life of purpose. Your list is just that–YOUR list. Keep it private if you want (I generally do). Take time with it—it took me weeks, if not months, to narrow down exactly what truly spoke to me. And remember that you can edit your list anytime. What is important to you now may be less so in five or ten years.

And How to Do It

To help get you started, I’m linking to a LONG list of values found at Steve Pavlina’s website (he’s a personal development author). Be forewarned that this is a very extensive list (418 strong!) covering the entire gamut of possible principles (“Fashion” is number 163!). Go through the list and without thinking too much, circle those that really speak to you. In a week or a month or even a year, go back to see which ones are the MOST important to you (while retaining the others of course!)

Why?

I’ve been thinking that maybe we should teach Values Definition to young people; many seem to drift through life aimlessly or with a palpable dullness because they are living according to someone else’s values, perhaps a parent’s or a teacher’s or even those perceived from society in general. But even those of us beyond our teens or twenty-something-hoods could do well to consider a re-think of values. Look at the (many!) people who have retired without purpose, a sad, lost decline spent watching judge shows on television. Compare them to those who have defined that which gives their lives meaning. Perhaps health and fitness ranks high, so they spend time on daily walks or weightlifting at the gym. Maybe giving back is the key for them and volunteering becomes a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Perhaps they’ve now found the time to embrace their inner activist and conducted letter-writing campaigns to politicians (or even run for office themselves!). This would not be possible if they didn’t, on some level, know what they hold dear.

Time for a Conversation?

”Yes” is my answer. I think it’s time for a national conversation. Although I started this work back in January (obviously I didn’t work on it 24/7), the full import of it became apparent after I read Emily Esfahani Smith’s “The Power of Meaning”. And, while a national conversation might be a bit of a pipe dream now, we can certainly discuss this with those close to us if we’d like—our friends, our families, our communities. So, my advice to you is to start working on this—nobody, NOBODY, is getting any younger and the sooner you can define your values, the sooner you can identify or hone your life’s purpose.